Stuart Gibbs

OK, I admit it.  I have a problem.  I’m completely obsessed with my Amazon reviews.

I think this is because the Amazon review is virtually the only way I have of getting reviews from people I don’t know.  So I like to go to the site thirty or forty times a day to see if any new ones have cropped up.  This is actually a slightly tense thing to do, because there’s always the fear that someone might have hated the book.  (A fear that, at least so far, has thankfully been unfounded.)

And then, last night… I got my first three star review.

Now, three stars isn’t bad, per se.  It’s just so-so.  Lukewarm.  So I decided to read the review and see what problems the reader had with the book.  Here is the ENTIRE review:

ENGAGING

Took this book on a family vacation and it kept my son entertained on the long car ride. He thought it was funny and well written. As for myself one of the things I liked about this selection is that it is equally appealing for both boys and girls. There is a variety of interesting characters and a riveting ‘who done it’ that makes it difficult to put down.

That’s it.  The whole review.  There’s nothing bad in there at all.  In fact, one might argue that it actually sounds like a good review.  So then I start wondering, ‘Did this guy just enter the wrong number of stars by accident?  Or is he just not a very effusive person?’  So I checked out his other reviews.  Turns out, he can be effusive.  He gave a four-star review to a deodorant.  A deodorant, for pete’s sake!

But then, it occurred to me there might be a bright side to this.  Because when you click on the ‘reviews’ link for my book now, it takes you to this page.  So you see the most helpful good review and the most helpful bad review.  But the most helpful bad review isn’t really a bad review at all.  So maybe, the average book buyer will see this and say, ‘Wait.  That’s the bad review for this book?  If that’s the worst review, then this book must be pretty good.’  And then they’ll buy it.

That’s what I’m hoping, anyhow.